Bigger Breasts, Better Sex?

According to a survey conducted by RealSelf.com (see it in full below), 34 percent of women who have had breast implants claim they are more satisfied with their sex life post-procedure. Is anyone else reading this tidbit of info thinking, Duh?

Obviously, if one is feeling self-conscious about the way they look–especially in the sack–you aren’t going to feel too awesome about yourself, whether you’re in bed or out and about. The thing about sex–and less-than-awesome feelings of self-assuredness, empowerment, confidence–is that it usually happens in the bedroom, with (usually) one other person who (usually) gets to see you naked. There are no clothes to hide behind, no special tricks to conceal the places we’ve learned to so stylishly cover up when we’re out in the real world. Oversize tees come off, as do the padded bras (if but one reason I am against false advertisement: in the end, your lover is going to find out that you’re not exactly the measurements you seem to be while fully clothed).

Now, I’ve been known to apologize to lovers on occasion for not having a more ample bosom for them to look/lick/hold/touch/what have you (sorry, Mom) when we’re being intimate. But you know what? None of them–I repeat, NONE OF THEM–minded. In fact, I’d say about 90 percent of the men I’ve been with actually PREFER smaller chests. Or they were just saying that to make me feel better about myself so that we could go ahead and get it on already, in which case it worked.

But ladies, really, breasts are just an accessory to sex. Sure, they play a role in foreplay and sexual stimulation (for some, not all, mind you), but they have nothing to do with actual intercourse, i.e., penetration. That 70 percent of the women surveyed for this poll claim their sex life has improved since they got larger racks is really all psychological. I mean, I am no head doctor, but it doesn’t take a Ph. D. to understand the correlation here: If you feel you are missing out because you’re self-conscious that a part of your body doesn’t look how you think it ought to, of course you’re going to have less fun in bed–you’re too busy worrying about what your partner is thinking about how you look.

The poll also shows that 61 percent of women who underwent breast enhancement also now, post-procedure, enjoy MORE sex than before their surgery. Another duh here, if you will. If you’re down on yourself because a certain body part (or parts) doesn’t look how you think it should (thank you, Star, People, OK, Us Weekly for constant skin-baring photos of the superskinny celebrity variety, and for poking fun at those in the spotlight for those not meeting the “fit” or “thin” quotient. Really, you can be quite mean) and then suddenly said body part is looking how you think it should, well of course you’re confidence as well as the desire to get naked is going to make you feel more willing to undress.

All this to say that, really, no one’s opinion about your body matters except your own. While this opinion still may lead some to go under the knife, Tuff Titties hopes you have the courage to see yourself, to see your body as the temple it is and not feel the need to alter it for someone else to find you attractive. Self-confidence–not C or D cups–is one of the sexiest traits someone can have, so before you decide to undergo surgery in hopes of finding–or keeping–a sexual partner, please try to change the habit of negative thinking and remind yourself that you are special, beautiful, unique just the way you are.